Sara is an amazing example of a younger alumna who is starting the first steps into an amazing career. A junior at Smith College during recording, Sara is already able to reflect back at how TJ shaped her life and career.
Matthew Troutman:
Thomas Jefferson School or TJ in St. Louis, Missouri is a unique place. A boarding and day school with a small community of students from all over the world, our mission asks us as educators to provide the strongest possible academic background. Our mission also asks our students to desire to lift up the world with beauty and intellect. Our graduates go on to wonderful careers after TJ. And this series intends to capture the stories of our alumni. In this episode, we'll hear from Sara Halili. Sara graduated in 2018, making her the youngest alumni that we've had in our conversation series so far, despite the fact that she only graduated a few years ago. Sara has already made an impact at Smith College where she is a current junior. She hopes to attend med school in an MD-PhD program after she graduates from Smith. I think it's really interesting to have a conversation with Sara at this stage in her life. She's already thinking back to how TJ made an impact on her college career and she's already looking ahead to the impact that she's going to have in her communities in the future.
Matthew Troutman:
It's always wonderful to catch up with Sara. I'm sure that you're going to enjoy our conversation. Sara, welcome to the conversation series. How are you doing this afternoon?
Sara Halili:
I'm good. So it's pretty late here, but it's a usual day.
Matthew Troutman:
Well, I appreciate you staying up. So where are we finding you today?
Sara Halili:
I am in Albania and I've never been in Albania in the fall for six years now.
Matthew Troutman:
You're there because Smith went remote and it's just a lot more convenient?
Sara Halili:
Yeah. So, Smith went fully online for everyone and it was just a better option than being isolated on campus with very few other international students. So I decided the time difference was worth it, so,
Matthew Troutman:
That's fair. Well, let's kind of step back a few years, not too many years, but your time at TJ, I want to kind of dive into this a little bit. You have a really unique story of how you found TJ and how you came to join us at school. So tell us about that story.
Sara Halili:
Yeah, so almost six years ago, I had no idea what TJ was or that it would literally change my life. So I was the president of the student government of my school in Albania, which although I was in ninth grade, it was still considered middle school. So I was planning to go to the best public high school in town and do my best there so that I could make it to medical school after high school and going to high school abroad wasn't really something that I thought was possible in ninth grade. Like I was saying, I went to this public achievement workshop and I presented on the project that I had been working on all year and that's where I met Mr. Merrill and Ms. [Boudreaux 00:01:00] and we just had really meaningful conversations. And then one or two months after they left Albinia and my school, they offered to sponsor my scholarship at TJ for one year through the Eastern European Scholarship.
Sara Halili:
So, then I got so excited and I started researching TJ and looking up pictures and the website and I just got so invested in the process of interviewing with TJ and getting all the paperwork done. I vividly remember going through the checklist of things that we were allowed to bring like the number of shoes. And I was so particular about not bringing more than I was allowed to. Little did I know that when I'd get a [inaudible 00:04:12] , Dr. D would actually play a prank on us and tell us that, like we weren't allowed to have that many shoes in our room. So that was interesting. But yeah, so I learned about TJ through Mr. Merrill, who initially sponsored my scholarship for a year as an exchange student. And then I think it was, yeah, it was spring of my first year at TJ. He agreed to sponsor my scholarships through graduation. So I'm very grateful to Ms. Boudreaux and Mr. Merrill for allowing me to stay at TJ longer and graduate from TJ.
Matthew Troutman:
And for those who might not be aware what's Merrill's connection to TJ?
Sara Halili:
Well, so Mr. Merrill was one of the two founders of TJ along... Oh three.
Matthew Troutman:
Yep. That's all right. Three founders. So Charles Merrill, Graham Spring and Robin [McCoy 00:05:15] .
Sara Halili:
Robin McCoy. Yeah. And Mr. Merrill taught at TJ many years ago.
Matthew Troutman:
Yeah. I spoke to an alum who had Charles Merrill as a teacher and he said that he was the most influential teacher he ever had in his life. And so it's good to hear that he made a pretty big impact on you as well.
Sara Halili:
Oh, absolutely. Yeah. And I just, sometimes I can't believe that I had the opportunity to meet such an influential person when I was 15. And a year later, just changed my life forever and I was really happy to hear from Mr. [Rosner 00:00:06:11]. I don't know if I'm saying his name right.
Matthew Troutman:
Yep, that's right.
Sara Halili:
During the celebration of lights that we had for Mr. Merrill and hearing how his life was influenced by Mr. Merrill at such a high level. I think he lived at Mr. Merrill's house and went to TJ and then had such a successful career after that. So, yeah, I think that might have been one of most emotional weekends at TJ.
Matthew Troutman:
Right. That was a little bit after Mr. Merrill passed away and so we invited you along with a number of the Eastern European scholars to kind of produce a video and you were still on campus. So you gave a really great speech and Mr. Rosner also was able to give some remarks as well that were just really moving. Yeah. I think you're right that it was a very impactful weekend.
Sara Halili:
Right. Because I had been able to hear about remarks from the three Fuller students where I teach in during my times, but it was really moving hearing from previous Eastern European scholars as well. And just seeing the impact that Mr. Merrill had on their lives.
Matthew Troutman:
Yeah, absolutely. Just for reference [Splott 00:07:42] is the sister school in Poland that we partner with to bring over a student every year. Again, that's through merit. Mr. Merrill's donation and a big impact he's had on a number of people. It's been going for a few decades now, right?
Sara Halili:
I think it was since '97 or '98.
Matthew Troutman:
Right.
Sara Halili:
And I always get so excited about the new Polish students that come to TJ, even though I graduated three years ago. I keep asking my sister, "So do we know who's coming this year?" And they're usually so well connected with each other. And I just love that about them. I think there's a box of stuff that has been passed on from Polish student to Polish student for the last six years or so.
Matthew Troutman:
That's right. And at least at one time, some of the materials lived in our office with Mrs. Roth. Let's fast forward a little bit. So we talked about your checklist and some really mean prank that Dr. T pulled on you and the rest of the students, but I'm just kind of curious if you could share a little bit about your experience at TJ. You were there for three years, right? And yeah. Talk a little bit about that.
Sara Halili:
My experience at TJ was great. It took me a little bit to open up and start hanging out with people in main because the first two years I was just so focused on the academics and getting good grades. It took me a while to realize that a 93 and a 98 both gave you an A, so I didn't need to drive myself crazy over every single assignment. I think I had the most fun at TJ during my senior year, because that year we had a very amusing again, this last year and [inaudible 00:09:45] well, we had a very amusing student, [Francois 00:00:09:50] who was really entertaining. And we would just hang out a lot in main, along with my other friends, especially our second semester senior year when there wasn't as much stress over college applications and grades. My favorite parts from socializing at TJ were movie nights.
Sara Halili:
So we had on Saturdays because it just kind of gave us the opportunity to hang out with each other and do an activity that I would normally do with my family. So it really fostered community. And I also always loved to dinners for some reason. I would set a timer when I was doing my homework until the dinner time. And I just expected, it was so much joy because it was a nice break and also a good socializing time. Or the questions we sometimes had to answer in order to be excused from dinner. I think Mr. Roth did the most creative job of everyone. I think it was either my first or second month at TJ. So back then my English wasn't really good and I always felt so intimidated talking to Mr. Roth. So when he called on me, that was my worst nightmare.
Sara Halili:
So he calls on me and he asked me to sing the Albinia National Anthem. So here I am very shy, very intimidated by him. I'm like a sophomore in this room full of juniors and seniors, half of whom I'd never even talked before and I'm singing my country's national Anthem. And no one in the room can understand and I'm such a bad singer. I don't know. I did not love Mr. Roth after...
Matthew Troutman:
In the movie version, everybody, after you get done singing, everybody stands up and applauds. Right. Did anybody mention anything about that after that experience?
Sara Halili:
No, I don't think so. I mean, Mr. Rosoff was very unique pointing out how much my English improved during my senior year. And I remember being like, "Oh, remember that one time when you made me feel really embarrassed because I had to sing my country's national Anthem in front of everyone?" He was like, "Yeah, I sure do."
Matthew Troutman:
What are some of the academic experiences that stand out to you?
Sara Halili:
Oh my goodness. I loved all of my classes, but I think one of the more standoffish things about TJ that I don't find in college are just the discussions in class. Especially in English, the questions that we were asked to reflect on as 17 year olds and 18 year olds, or it's just like, wow. Even in college you don't get the same quality conversation and you'd assume that you would, because people are older and more mature, but the energy that you get from a TJ classroom, even if it is during English, people arguing with each other to convince Mr. Rosoff that they're right. And he's wrong. Yeah. That you don't really find that in college.
Sara Halili:
And I think part of it might be the class size and how small TJ classes are, but it's also the relationship that students have with each other. Because you know them outside of class, you're very comfortable talking to them outside of class, which makes you feel uncomfortable, challenging and that arguing with them in class because they're your friends and the end of the day, you're not afraid that you're going to hurt their feelings. So you just have a conversation.
Matthew Troutman:
And that can continue to lunch when you argue about something that has nothing to do with class.
Sara Halili:
Yeah.
Matthew Troutman:
And then the teachers get involved and we have a debate over the lyrics of some musical that came up somehow.
Sara Halili:
Or sometimes we even read poems during lunch. I remember my senior year we read a bunch of sonnets with Mr. Roth and so during my senior year he didn't teach me, but a group of my friends and I would always sit with him during lunch and read sonnets and argue with him because that was fun.
Matthew Troutman:
Let's talk a little bit about the community. So when you were a senior, I remember distinctly that you really cared about the feel of the campus and trying to really make an impact there. Why was that so important for you?
Sara Halili:
Because as a senior, you kind of finally feel comfortable being on campus. And personally, I remember thinking back to the first moment I came to TJ and how hard that was being so far away from my family for the first time, not being able to speak in Albanian to anyone. So as a senior, when I was in boarding consult, it really mattered to me that everyone felt like they were part of a community and they were far away from home, but TJ was like another home for them. I remember Alex Lee who was a seventh grader and got in trouble with Miss Fairbanks for not having his pants ironed or something. And I remember his face, he was so like terrified, poor kid was a seventh grader. Which seventh grader has to iron their own pants? And then I was like, "Alex, we got this. I'm going to help you out." It's just so weird to think about a senior interacting with a seventh grader. And I think that's something that's very unique to TJ.
Sara Halili:
But to some of it was just the feeling of like being away from home and needing the community that made me think about ways that I could help other people feel like they had a community too.
Matthew Troutman:
I love that. That's one of my favorite things about TJ, as well is the people who start to recognize that they have an impact on the community. And because they're a part of it they're obviously creating and contributing to it. And it's really important that we're mindful of that because that's going to help change action so that we can pay it forward. And then hopefully your story with Alex, maybe he helps out a seventh or eighth grader when they start as a student and he's a senior. He still has a few years left to go. But I think that that's how it carries on because when we do talk to older alumni that have been through TJ decades ago, they do talk about that community aspect. And it's very similar to what you described.
Sara Halili:
I remember my first year of TJ, other students helped me out. Because I came one week... I missed the orientation week. So I knew nothing about the campus. I knew nothing about laundry. Believe it or not, I could possibly get lost in TJ's campus because I just had no idea, I think. That's very hard to do given how small the TJ campuses, but everyone jumped in to help. I remember when I first stepped on campus, Mrs. Roth was outside and like, she gave me a hug and I was like, "In which universe the teachers give hugs to students before they even meet them?" Because she gave me my first books and it's just something that will always stick with me, like how I was so scared when I first got to TJ but then it took no time to feel at home.
Matthew Troutman:
Let's go forward from there. So how did TJ set you up for your time at Smith College?
Sara Halili:
So first of all, like the academics, I get in trouble with my sister saying this because-
Matthew Troutman:
Your sister's a current senior?
Sara Halili:
Yeah. She is a current senior. So I'm like, [crosstalk 00:18:19] yeah, TJ was so much harder than Smith and she was like, "Wait. So like you went to an easier college? Is that why?" I don't think that's the issue. I just think that there's so much you learn at TJ beyond just the academics itself about being an independent learner and just getting things done when you have to get them done. No matter how much you procrastinate, having to write three essays per night for AP lit is a really good way to prepare for turning in three major assignments in college. Also, like I mentioned this earlier, you really find your voice in the TJ classroom. So when you go to college, you're like, "Oh, I can say things in class and I won't be scared to say things in class or intimidated by anyone because you're already so used to like being challenged. I think the thing that TJ prepared me... I mean, there's actually two things.
Sara Halili:
So it's my research, which means so much to me now and being an RA. The research board is just the resilience you build from all the like, ORs that you don't get a check in, especially in this thoracic class. And having to strive for perfection and pay attention to detail. And those are all skills that you have to use as a researcher in constantly going between the big picture and the small details. So using the big picture and the bigger goal that you're striving for, motivate you when you're struggling with an experiment that you've already had to repeat three times. And then the being an RA I think is for obvious reasons, like being a peer mentor in a boarding school environment and kind of knowing how to interact with people in a way that you're friendly and supportive, but also hold them accountable for their actions.
Matthew Troutman:
Have you had any very interesting experiences as an RA that you wouldn't have expected before you took that role?
Sara Halili:
I mean, obviously there's details I can't disclose, confidentiality and respecting people's privacy. But I would say that the biggest part of my job, which I never expected was facilitating conversations between roommates who did not get along. It was just such a constant struggle with trying to get these two people who clearly couldn't communicate talk to each other and being multi [inaudible 00:21:20], seeing the right in each person's side. I think that I was good at it because of TJ and because I had to have hard conversations with people, no matter how much you liked someone, or even if your friends, when you live with people, things come up and you have to address them in a way that you understand where people are coming from, also helps you become empathetic. And then that was something that was really helpful in my job in not picking apart and understanding where both people were coming from.
Matthew Troutman:
Let's turn back. Let's say you have the opportunity to speak to a sophomore. Now I know you know a number of them really well. So how about a generic sophomore, right? Somebody who's joined TJ maybe in the past two years or so, and they're starting to figure out their career right or when I say career, I mean their TJ career. So they've gotten used to English classes. They've gotten used to the homework load. They're getting used to their teachers. Now they're starting to think about what can I do in the community or what can I do... What can I set myself up for? So what's some advice you might give to a generic 10th grade student?
Sara Halili:
I would say to not be afraid to reach out to older students about getting involved in clubs and you don't necessarily need to have an official title in a club to be able to contribute in a meaningful way and feel like you're part of a community and doing things for your community.
Matthew Troutman:
You just gave some, what I think is really good advice about just diving in whether or not you are worried about titles or just asking older students for advice or just getting help or getting to know the older students, would that have been true for you? Would you have given yourself that advice as a sophomore?
Sara Halili:
Looking back? I wish I did that. I mean, I did not do that. Like I said earlier, my first year at TJ I was very academically focused. I wasn't really familiar with the aspect of extracurriculars that are very important in an American high school because at least speaking for Albania, school is your main priority. People don't think about extracurriculars that much. They're not important in order to get into college or anything. So the culture doesn't really encourage people to get involved with a thousand different things. So yeah, my first year at TJ, I wish that I got more involved and I went to meetings of clubs, such as declaration, even if I wasn't ready to write an article by myself yet.
Matthew Troutman:
You're about to enter the end of your junior year in college, which means you're starting to look ahead past your experience at Smith. There may be some alumni who are listening and is there something that you would ask of them that, much like you said to a hypothetical sophomore reach out to older students, is there anything that you would want to reach out to alumni and say, "I could really use some help in this area?" Or "If you want to contact me about this, I would be really appreciative."
Sara Halili:
When you leave TJ, you think that you're an adult, but even in college, I don't think you were a real adult yet. I'm just anxious about what happens after college when you have to hold a real job and support yourself and like-
Matthew Troutman:
Okay, I'll be honest. I mean, I'm sure there might be people who would feel the same way and maybe there would be some who would reach out and offer some advice, but I can speak for myself. There are many days where I still do not feel like an adult and I'm waiting for somebody to tell me what to do. In 10 years, what do you think your story... What do you want your story to be in 10 years?
Sara Halili:
I mean, I definitely want to be helping people and hopefully medical school happens and I get to hold people as a medical doctor, but if that doesn't happen, whatever I'm doing 10 years from now, I hope that in the end of the day, I feel like I made a difference in someone's life. And I know that that sounds very general, but that's the vision of myself that I have now. And I hope that... I know that it will not change because from the moment that I remember myself, I always wanted to become a doctor for the reason that I wanted to help others. And I think there's so many ways that people can do that.
Matthew Troutman:
I know that that mindset will carry you through and you will make an impact because you are dedicated to it. Do you know where that comes from? Where does that drive... Where do you get that from? Is that family, is that... I'm sure it predates TJ.
Sara Halili:
I would say growing up in Albania and raised and seeing... Growing up with a feeling that I have to work really hard if I want to do anything in my life. I have to work really hard if I eventually want to leave Albania and seek a better life for myself and my family somewhere else. But it's always a combination of things. I don't think it's solely the fact that I grew up in a poor country. I think family plays a big part in it. My family's history, knowing that my mother was denied an education, although she was brilliant, really motivates me to take advantage of every opportunity I possibly can to kind of accomplish her dreams as well, because a big part of success is opportunities. And I can't emphasize this enough for my American peers who would just assume that in the U.S., for the most part, if you're brilliant and you work really hard, things work out for you. Right. And that's not true for a very good portion of the world, including my country.
Matthew Troutman:
I mean, in many ways, I do feel that that kind of privilege, right, I was not a great high school student and yet still made it to college and started to pick it up from there. But I don't think many people would have had that opportunity. I definitely have some privilege coming in in that respect.
Sara Halili:
Imagine if you were obedient. So college here, depends solely on your high school grades. So if you really... If you didn't do well in high school, or if something happened during the time that you were in high school that didn't allow you to fully apply yourself and do well, there goes your college and your opportunity to find a better job or whatever. And when I say this, let me be clear. I don't mean to talk down on people's accomplishments or make anyone feel guilty. It's just the way things are. I'm sure that they... I mean, I didn't choose to be born in Albania. They didn't choose to be born in the U.S. or have this privilege that we're talking about, but they can use the opportunities they have to make sure that other people are given similar opportunities.
Sara Halili:
One of my biggest goals is if I, at some point have the ability to help prospective students come to TJ because TJ would not have been possible for me if Mr. Merrill hadn't sponsored my scholarship. And I'm sure that there are so many brilliant people out there who could benefit from a TJ education that would not be able to get it without someone's sponsoring their scholarships.
Matthew Troutman:
And then this is an easy way to plug our annual fund or contacting us about some sort of larger scholarship of course, but really it's about just finding people who are good fits for TJ and then trying to open the doors for them, even if that means... I mean, you mentioned you didn't know about TJ before Mr. Merrill met you, so how do we change that [inaudible 00:30:49]?
Sara Halili:
I think part of that is just, the alumns doing the talking about teaching and the ways that TJ influenced their lives. In my case, I will never stop talking about the ways that TJ influenced my life and my sister's life, which is something that I am very grateful for. But I think that that needs to happen more, be it like one year exchange students from Poland or people who graduated from TJ and went to U.S. colleges or other top world universities and have this amazing careers now. I was so excited to see the TJ class of 2016. So college class of 2020, their LinkedIn posts about all their amazing jobs and think about, "Oh, these people were seniors when I started TJ." And I talked to them and now they work for Google and Microsoft, and they're doing all this amazing things. And I'm sure that other TJ alums that I don't even know of are doing great things, but just never forgetting that how TJ helped them get where they are.
Matthew Troutman:
Sara, I want to ask a couple of rapid fire questions. What's your favorite TJ meal or dish that you had at TJ?
Sara Halili:
The lasagna. They were really good.
Matthew Troutman:
Who is a memorable teacher when you were a student?
Sara Halili:
I would say Mr. Roth, but I've already talked about him so much. All of my teachers were memorable and very influential in my life. I'm going to say Mr. [Pesach 00:32:33] has his Italian classes. So memorable to me.
Matthew Troutman:
Nice. Is there a person, faculty, staff, student, or a person connected to TJ who made an impact on you as you look back now?
Sara Halili:
Yeah. I mean, again, I think everyone, the team make an impact on me. I am a people's person as you can see. So, I think every single conversation I had with TJ teachers, TJ students, TJ RAs, helped me learn more about myself and learn more about the world. So I can't pick one single person.
Matthew Troutman:
You couldn't name a specific person or a teacher other than Mr. Pesach and you had mentioned Mr. Roth earlier. Can you pin down a favorite book from the TJ curriculum?
Sara Halili:
This is hard. I liked a lot of my books. I think I'm going to go with [Hercadia 00:33:32] again, or [Kadian 00:33:34] brothers [inaudible 00:33:36]. They were both really, really powerful books that I still think about sometimes.
Matthew Troutman:
Is there a book you've read recently, that's had an impact or something you would recommend to TJ audience?
Sara Halili:
Okay. So cut this out because Mr. Roth will hate me. But with all the pre-med classes-
Matthew Troutman:
Got it.
Sara Halili:
Not much time for a fun reading, but I'm really looking forward to being able to just read for fun again, once I'm done with the [inaudible 00:34:05].
Matthew Troutman:
Yeah. Is there something on your to read list or something that you're looking forward to picking up?
Sara Halili:
I really want to read Michelle Obama's, Becoming.
Matthew Troutman:
I want you to identify the best dorm on TJ campus, but you only get one word to explain why.
Sara Halili:
Great.
Matthew Troutman:
Great?
Sara Halili:
Great bathrooms.
Matthew Troutman:
Bathrooms? Okay. And then is there anybody you haven't mentioned from TJ that you just want to give a shout out to or say hello?
Sara Halili:
Yeah. There's so many people. My advisor, Miss DJ. I'm so grateful for all of her support when I was at TJ and for dealing with me when I literally went to her office, I think, once per week talked to her about my grades in every class. I'm sure that must've been really annoying. Everyone that I didn't mention. Mr. [Lippard 00:35:02] , Mrs. [Herbord 00:35:02], Dr. [Human 00:00:35:04], Mrs. [Perone 00:35:05], Mrs. Roth, wait, I feel like I'm forgetting people who you know so much and who helped me out so much. Who am I forgetting?
Matthew Troutman:
Ras.
Sara Halili:
Yeah, the RAs. Oh, Mrs. Walsh. Oh my goodness. I love Mrs. Walsh. Mrs. [Fiola 00:35:24], Mrs. [Korea 00:35:27]. I love Mrs. Korea. I babysat her kids. Everyone helped me out so much and I'm so thankful and grateful to them.
Matthew Troutman:
I have one last question for you and it's kind of a big one. So take some time if you need to think about it. But my last question is how do you live the mission of TJ by lifting up the world with beauty and intellect?
Sara Halili:
That's such a good question. Do I live the mission of TJ? I mean, I hope I do. I think it's exactly what I said earlier, finishing a day and thinking that I made a difference in someone's life, or I did something to make the world a better place, which I know sounds very flowery and very not specific, but it can be like a number of things. It can be just helping now that I'm home, helping my grandma do something, bringing food to a sick person in the ER, when I'm at Smith and I'm volunteering there. It can be just helping out your residents in the house when they're really stressed out and they just need help with [inaudible 00:36:42] It's just like it can mean so many different things, but it's just about being kind and considerate of others.
Sara Halili:
And I know that TJ prepares us to be brilliant and bold leaders and do really well academically, but I'm sure that my teachers then you and everyone would be so much more proud of a TJ student versus being a good person and a kind person and making a difference in other people's lives than just a competitive person who wants to reach to the top of whatever field they're in.
Matthew Troutman:
That's so well said and a perfect place to end things. Sara, thank you for taking the time to be part of the conversation series.
Sara Halili:
Thank you, Dr. D.
Matthew Troutman:
If you'd like more information about TJ, please go to TJS.org, or you can find us on social media. Look for Thomas Jefferson School on Facebook or TJ underscore S-T-L on Instagram. If you want to help by contributing to TJ to help support us in delivering our mission or to bring more conversations like this one, go to TJs.org/giving. If you know an alumna or alumnus who would be interested in participating in this conversation series or know somebody who should be, please reach out to me at mtroutman@tjs.org.
Sara Halili:
Doctor, can I have a redo for that question? Because now I'm getting so nervous that I forgot someone and I would feel so horrible if I forgot someone. I'm literally right now, I have an image of the third floor in my brain and I'm trying to think through all the offices. Who did I forget because I would feel really bad if someone was mentioning all of this people, and then they forgot me. Can we put this question in another round?
Matthew Troutman:
I'm thinking I'm going to leave in the part where you feel bad about not including somebody.
Sara Halili:
That was a dangerous question. I should have had notes or already written down all the names.